


Knew Better / Forever Boy.

by harringtonsgrande



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: A WHOLE LOT OF ANGST AND I AM SO SORRY YIKES, Bisexual!Steve, Closet gay!Billy, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Slurs, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Prom fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harringtonsgrande/pseuds/harringtonsgrande
Summary: Steve thinks Billy has changed over the last couple of months and he wants to ask him out to prom.





	Knew Better / Forever Boy.

**Author's Note:**

> so I got rejected for my prom for a second year in a row and took out my heavy feelings into this sad ass fit-ficlet I am so sorry, jesus heck.
> 
> also!!!!  
> I really do appreciate all the comments and kudos ah it makes me feel like my writing isn't all that horrible and I hope all of you don't mind all of my excessive writing because of spring break.

“You’re gonna go in there and you’re gonna steal Hargrove’s heart. Like a true Casanova, Steve.”

“Maybe this is a bad idea—“

“You can’t chicken out, now! We’re in too deep.” Dustin exclaimed.

I mean- they weren’t really in /too/ deep.

Sure. Steve /had/ sent Billy mixed signals about the Spring Formal approaching but he wasn’t ever really straight forward about it. They just, well, they fucked.  
After the two were breathing heavy and laying side by side in Steve’s queen size mattress, they’d have a small amount of small talk about various things and topics.

Steve and Billy weren’t ‘boyfriends’ by any means or a couple. but.. surely they had to be /something/ by the amount of times they’d been doing– this.

+

It all started when Max brought Billy to a meeting of the party at his house, the boys all on guard and ready to attack for their babysitter and themselves before Max piped up that her older brother had something to say to all of them individually. Regardless of whatever the dirty blonde had to say, Steve was ready for round two if he needed to be. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Max moderated each conversation of the kids eerily meeting Billy at the door-frame, apologizing for his mistakes and fucked up behavior, each apology different. The only one of the kids who seemed to have forgave him on the spot was El-Jane. It was as if she could see past his hard exterior, reading into him and his state of mind. Her hand even extending to shake Billy’s when he finished, her soft smile making Billy’s shocked gaze and confused eyes somewhat gentle— warm.

Steve on the other hand was last and slow to approach; scared. He didn’t know Billy that well besides the fact they both played basketball and that their fight at the Byers sent Steve into what felt like a mini coma. but what he was sure of, was that Billy was a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment. Unpredictable, loud, muscle, and ready to pounce. 

“Don’t worry, he won’t bite.”

A weak laugh left Steve’s lips at Max’s attempt at a joke and he let his stance fall in front of Billy, trying to let his height pose for dominance. 

“I’m sorry for smashing your face in, Harrington... and fuckin’ up your vision.. and-“

“Its.. it's fine. I forgive you.”

“WHAT?!” was the well expected reaction from the kids In loud unison.

Sure, maybe Steve should have made Billy work harder for his forgiveness. Took a swing and knocked out the boy’s dangly earring and gave him a matching black eye in response.

But he didn’t. Because Steve know’s what its like to be the bad guy, to be the asshole who fuck’s up and just wants to make things alright. To be sincere and want to change for the better. 

He’ll never forget the memory of the fight between himself and Jonathan Byers, punching and scarring each other with blood and bruises or the fact his friends spray painted slut shaming words on the local theatre of Nancy to make him feel better. It wasn’t right and Steve thought about it all afternoon. The memory of him showing up to the Byer’s house to make it right never fades his thoughts. He sometimes wonders what would have happened if he didn’t show up that foggy dark night. 

Steve can’t read Billy Hargrove’s face to save his life, but if the guy was wanting to make a change in his life- for whatever reason. Steve wasn’t going to drag him down to a dark place of unforgiveness and resent.

Billy’s face does show a surprising reaction, almost as if he doesn’t believe it and he definitely isn’t expecting Steve’s next words.

“Come inside, yeah? If you’re not too cool for it, we got pizza, horror movies and some dungeons and dragons. which by the way- you’re gonna have to take some /serious/ practice if you wanna win.”

The kids are all groaning and shoving ugly faces in Steve’s direction except Max who is looking so grateful at Steve and hopeful to Billy.

“Dungeons and what?”

And thats just how things kinda snow ball.

Steve and Billy are the young adults of the group, Steve the baby-sitter and Billy the body-guard.

It takes some long getting-used-to for the kids to fully accept Billy’s presence most of the time. Even if he’s just conversing with Steve and talking about random things in the background of everything. To this day, some of the kid’s still don’t adore Billy’s company. Mostly Mike who gets annoyed by his commentary and El-jane’s fondness of him. Will is Billy’s second favorite, always getting shy and clumsy around him but majority of the time acting overly sweet with small actions. Sometimes sharing fries with him at the diner when the boys take them out or complimenting Billy on his outfits, handing him small things like napkins and such when he asks aloud. Billy always tells Steve he’s the best out of the group next to Jane.

Aside from taking care of the kids, the boys become good- friends? Yeah, friends.

Billy still plays hard in basketball with Steve but not as forceful, just enough rough-ups and taunting to get him motivated. Fired up and ready.

“Come on, Harrington. Hazlehurst next Friday isn’t gonna be as nice as me.”

“Thats you being nice???”

A wink and smirk is shot in Steve’s direction. He’s breathless and trotting down the court trying to keep up and follow the ball.

Their friendship blossoms deeper and Steve starts inviting Billy more often and not with just the kids over. 

They typically sit out on Steve’s roof and overlook the pool and forest at night. smoking joints and cigarettes and shotgunning beers. Acting like stupid teenagers and talking about everything. The future, the past, their family, music they like and music they don’t like. 

It becomes a routine, Billy coming to Steve’s house when shit goes down. Billy screaming in the echoes of Steve’s ceiling and rambling on how much he despises his dad, how he can’t wait for the old man to croak. He never goes into detail about his bruises, his cuts, his limps and sore bones. Steve just offers whatever alcohol he can find and help he can give to patch him up. They sit on their spot, talking about other things that turn into distractions for the time being.

Its not until everything changes one Friday evening at 11pm. 

+

a banging noise erupts from Steve’s bedroom window and his heart begins to sink, he wishes that his first thought of whoever is at the window is a robber or home intruder, but because of Hawkin’s secrets, he thinks something else might be at the door until a mess of slurry words booms–

“Steve. Openthefuckin’window.”

“Billy???”

Steve’s hurriedly unlatching and lifting the window locks before what appears to be a disoriented Billy Hargrove stumbling into his bedroom. 

“Fuck. My head.” Billy lands head first into the ground and Steve is hurrying to settle him upright and on the edge of the bed. Over looking for marks as the routine usually follows and searching for any bruises until Billy is shooing and shrugging him away dramatically, like he’s posion. “Fuck off me.”

“What’s your problem?” Steve snaps back and he’s pulling a few steps back to cross his arms over his chest with a brow raised. “Thought you said you were going out tonight.”

“I did.”

“.... and?”

“And now I’m fuckin’ here.”

Steve rolls his eyes and he continues to press on, “Yeah? And why?”

“Aw. Does the princess not want me over?” Billy almost laughs but he’s fighting to keep his balance just sitting up and Steve’s eyes fix onto the boy sitting in front of him. 

“Are... are you drunk, Bill?”

“Maybe.” Billy giggles. He actually fucking /giggles/.

For a second, Steve actually relaxes and looks at what usually is a terrifying hard exterior hard ass is now a puddle of laughs, sneaky giggles and barely able to keep his balance Billy.

“Hold on, let me get you some water.” 

“No-“ Billy whines out and he’s taking hold of Steve’s wrist. It’s gentle. And clinging.  
Steve stares down at him. The blonde bad boy is looking at him with glossy tired blue eyes and soft pout, his fingers running over Steve’s wrist as he mumbles this time, “Stay.”

Steve’s... not used to this, at least from Billy. Sure, maybe the two had a few moments where they stare at eachother a little too long during their roof-top talks- or they’re close together during basketball and breathing heavy, grinding into eachother’s backside, wild and full of adrenaline. Or they share forgotten moments when their fingers brush passing rolled joints and breathing in the cold air, eyes met and knees knocking eachother as they sit closely. Just, drinking in eachother’s space.

But, Billy’s not into guys like that. And sure, Steve is bisexual and they /have/ talked about it.. but it didn’t mean anything.

“Your breath smells like hard liquor, ass-head. I’ll be two seconds, yeah?” Steve lets his hand fall to find Billy’s and gives a gentle squeeze, and there they go again. Sharing a moment where they just stare before Billy breaks it and he’s letting go to crawl into Steve’s bed. Sitting atop of the covers huffing and puffing while Steve heads for the bathroom to get a cup of water. 

He comes back as he promised and gives Billy a soft smile. Sitting next to him with their backs against the headboard and handing the cup over that Billy gulps down.

Steve watches Billy and his clumsy actions. He watches as the other boy almost spills the cup and reaches forward to catch it before it hits the blankets, a know it all tone leaving Billy’s voice, “Relax, will ya? Not a baby.”

“Mmhmph. Sure. You gonna tell me why you’re here and not at your party?”

“You weren’t there.” Billy’s voice is low and crisp as he leans his head against the headboard, eyes closed and breathing heavy. 

Steve freezes. He looks over at him and blinks a bit. No... this doesn’t mean anything. It’s not real, I mean. For fucks sakes, Billy’s drunk. He won’t remember any of this, so instead of speaking confused and concerned, he speaks amused, “Oh, yeah? You missed me, Hargrove?”

“Yeah. Missed your stupid face.” 

Steve blushes when the words leave Billy’s lips and he looks down, hugging himself with his arms at his chest; a soft smile staying painted on his face before he looks up to make sure Billy doesn’t spill the cup or drop it while setting it on the nightstand by the bed. His full attention on him before Billy begins to murmur, his own gaze looking up.

“I missed you.”

“You told me, bill-“

“No, I. I missed you.”

They stare at eachother. it’s, long. again. and deep thick tensioned air fills the room as Steve stares at billy and his lips. Billy’s tongue gliding over his bottom lip before suddenly the smaller boy is lunging forward and cupping Steve’s cheek. Holding him firm and close as they kiss and fall into a blissful panting oblivion. The kiss isn’t bad. It’s filled with the taste of alcohol and bad judgement but they both continue to press on and loosely touch. It makes them both equally dizzy.

From then on, they sorta became this weird complicated item. 

Mainly just hooking up in private and acting a bit nicer to eachother in public but they both agreed it was their thing.  
/only/ their thing.

+

So, with the spring formal approaching and Steve bad at making decisions. There wasn’t anyone else he wanted to take or anyone else he wanted to ask him. He just wanted Billy. It sucked because they couldn’t be those “””couples””” that pranced around holding hands or kissing against lockers and getting in trouble for PDA. They were hidden and quiet and had to be careful about who they acted or talked in front of. Unfortunately, that’s just how things were in Hawkins and at that time in life.

During one steamy make out session underneath the bleachers however, Steve decided (for whatever dumb reason) that this was the perfect time to bring it up, “What do you think about the prom?-“ it came out muffled and breathy but Billy heard it well enough to pull back and give the taller boy a confused look,

“Stupid.” Billy clearly gave it no mind and leaned forward to capture the boy’s lips again. Breathing heavy and hands searching for his hips to hold on to.

“- Yeah, yeah but.” Steve pulled away again, their lips inches apart as he breathily spoke, “like, what do you think of it?” 

“Jesus, /fuck/.” Billy pulls away again, impatient and clearly annoyed by Steve’s constant pausing and pulling away. He actually takes the time to shrug his shoulders and speak blatantly. “Waste of time. People go with people just to get laid and spike the punch. Losers win prom king, queen whatever-  
Can we please go back to the issue at hand now?”

Steve smirks at Billy’s needy actions and leans forward again, not to kiss him but to play with the collar of his shirt as he mumbles, “You ever been to a formal?”

Billy sighs out and realizes he’s not getting his proper hook up and kisses unless he complies, “Yeah. once in Cali. Went with this older girl at the time. Gave her the best night of her–“

“Okay okay that’s enough, shut up and kiss me.” Steve smirks as he says this and their lips are crashing again. Needy and hungry for more than kissing.

+

“You sure this is a good idea?” 

“Steve, you gotta have faith in yourself. Billy likes you right?” Dustin is clearly done with Steve’s lack of confidence.

“I mean.. I guess? I think so. Yeah.” Steve slowly builds his thoughts up, I mean. Billy had to like him at least a /little/ bit.

“And you like him, right?”

“Yeah.” he did. a lot. more than he probably should. 

“Then this should work out perfect. You have the looks, the charm, and the fact that you guys suck face behind—“

Steve is instantly covering the smaller boy’s mouth with his hands and whispering for him to shut up; he gives a few look arounds even if they are sitting in Steve’s BMW. You never know who could be around and listening (Billy taught him that). 

It was kinda funny how the tables have turned. The smaller boy that Steve was once giving tips to not too long ago was doing the same and encouraging him on his “prom-posal.” that Dustin even contributed to.

Steve held in his hands a small rose charm that sparkled in a solid gold color. He wanted it to hang off of Billy’s necklace or even use as a one-piece earring. Billy told Steve during one of their roof-top conversations that his favorite flower was a rose. When Steve asked why, Billy opened up about how it was his mother’s favorite flower and yeah- maybe it’s cliche because their everyone’s favorite but he’s always been fond of them since he was a kid. His favorite memories come from his mother and himself planting them in their small house’s backyard in California. The place wasn’t beautiful and probably resembled a shack but, Billy’s mother always felt that the roses made it look like a castle. Inviting and delicate, royal even.

He told Steve that when he got his own place he’d build a garden in the front yard of roses, full and filled with them. that way, his mom would think his place is a castle when she watched over him, that is, “if there’s a heaven or god or whatever.”

So, Steve got him a charm that he could hold close to his heart. A symbol for his mom and for himself, because Steve definitely believed Billy was beautiful. No matter how much of a mushy sap he sounded like when he said it. 

Usually for a prom-posal, you get flowers or a big card that reads, “PROM?” But Steve figured the gift had more value and meaning than flowers ever could. But, to keep the tradition, he sketched a small “Prom?” With small “Yes” and “No” check point boxes underneath on a small piece of paper. He let the small charm sit inside of the folded piece of notebook paper as he breathed out, his voice thick with jitters of nerves. 

“Okay. I’m going in.”

Steve gave one final look to his partner in crime and gave a soft smile that said ‘thank you’ for helping him gather ideas. 

Steve and Dustin sat parked in the Hawkins High School parking lot close to one of Steve and Billy’s private spots. 

The two would casually sneak off to the end brick wall by the Fine Arts building after school. Sure, it wasn’t great and the dumpsters near by sometimes had way too strong of a odor but most of the time it was a perfect space to sneak in a few greedy kisses and touches.

Steve left a note prior in Billy’s locker that read, 

‘Meet me at the brick spot after school :)  
S’

And Steve followed his word by approaching their spot. He held an excited smile as he kept his gift in his hands with his feet moving a little faster. God, he felt like such a stupid lame girlfriend but he was so excited, Billy was going to /love/ his gift.

“Harrington? Is that you?”

The familiar nickname usually makes Steve grin or laugh or even reach out to touch the smaller boy but this time, the name doesn’t come from Billy. It comes from Tommy. An old friend that turned sour in Steve’s clique and has resented him since.

“What’re you doing here?” Steve speaks slow and confused and suddenly Billy is in full view, a cigarette at his fingers and Carol next to Tommy, her mouth loud as she smacks her gum and snickers.

“Found your little love note for Hargrove here. Guess your sadly mistaken, Billy’s into chicks. Not washed up fags.”

Steve’s expression falls quickly and his heart is sinking into that familiar feeling again, like when Nancy told him their love was bullshit or when his father told him he wouldn’t amount to anything because he was stupid. He looks at Billy whose not even looking at him, just staring into the ground with a cigarette in his fingertips. “How- how did you see that-“

Tommy continues his taunts, “Was returning his basketball shoes from coach. what were you looking to do here, huh? Get him to join your fag squad with those little kids? Turn him into a–“

And that’s when Steve is bolting forward, to make a move, his blood boiling and hands trembling as he squeezes his gift and fists, “don’t talk about those kids like that-“

“Or what, Steve?” Tommy pushes him hard, his jaw clenching. 

Billy finally moves from his statute position to push Tommy aside gently to stand in front of him and look directly at Steve.

His blue glowing eyes have become icy and cold. They’re dead and empty and looking at Steve with pain as he speaks through gritted teeth and eyes begging to water, “Get the fuck out of here, Harrington.”

Steve’s holding his wrapped up paper to his chest, crumbling in his red sweatshirt as he shakes his head, swallowing hard as he looks at the boy before him. The same one who opened up to him on the rooftop about his mom, his love for roses, the same boy who smoked with him till the sun came up and laughed about things that weren’t even funny, the one who played with his hair after a rough night and whispered about how they were gonna get out Hawkins one day, where did he go?  
“This isn’t you.” 

It was bold to say, probably too bold.

Billy’s eyes are begging Steve and asking him to stop, to not make this hard and to just please leave so he doesn’t have to do this. But Steve doesn’t let up. 

“You’re not this mean person anymore. You're not some asshole bully. You're good." He walks closer to Billy, his voice shaking as he approaches, "you're kind. you're.. you're not this. So, stop acting like it Bill-“

“I’m not a /fucking/ queer, Steve. How many times do I have to say it?” Billy’s hands come into touch with Steve’s chest and he loses his balance as he pushes him. Hard. Steve hits into the cement ground and lets out a loud groan at the contact, it’s solid and rough and knocks the folded paper gift out of his hands. 

Once Steve finally gains his composure to look and sit up from the blow, he watches as Carol and Tommy mock and laugh at his foolish attempt of being brave. He can’t see it but he /knows/ his eyes are watering and glossy and he begins to scramble for his feet. He’s getting the /hell/ out of there and he feels like an idiot.

Of course. Billy Hargrove didn’t change. He never did. This must have all been a sick fucking joke. 

Billy's jaw is clenched and he's looking away, not breaking his forced expression as he reaches to take a drag of his cigarette.

Steve feels sick. He’s running at this point, his chest is throbbing and his back is aching and he’s making a dash for his car. Completely forgetting the gift and the whole idea of it all. He hates this. This feeling of giving and feeling so much to have it stripped away. He hates Billy. 

+

Carol and Tommy are against the brick wall laughing to themselves, sharing a cigarette as they continue to mock Steve.

“Oh my god- his fucking face! He was all, this isn’t you” Carol takes the moment of the joke to make her voice higher impersonating Steve and Tommy practically loses a lung over it. 

They continue to joke and begin conversations of other nonsense and garbage as Billy stays silent. Head hurting and eyes forcing themselves to hold back any emotion before he notices a glimmer to the ground. A dead low tone leaving him, “Hey, loudmouth. you drop a earring?”

“Ew, no. I only wear silver.” Carol snaps back and continuing to her conversation. 

Billy gives her a look of confusion before taking the decision to kneel down and slowly pick up the shined item, it’s slightly covered in dirt but he figures out its a shape of a rose as he cleans it with the bottom of his shirt. 

It’s beautiful, small and delicate. He really can’t believe someone would just lose an item like this before he notices the flapping piece of notebook paper beside it. His fingers take a slow time of grabbing it to unravel and read, the words reading,

 

“Prom? :D

yes no”

 

The sight instantly makes Billy’s stomach twist and the tears are finally triggered to fall down his cheeks. His eyes falling over to glance at the gold rose charm again before feeling a shaky breath leave his lips.

“Fuck.”


End file.
